The cover of Jessica Bram’s memoir shows a picture of the bottom half of a bride in combat boots, not a happy image but certainly representative of the tale of living through her own divorce. But can divorce be the joyful journey that the subtitle promises?

Divorced in her early forties with two children, Ms. Bram describes in short and entertaining chapters various aspects of her experience. From the nightly terrors engendered by the threat of having her children “taken away” to the emotional space that grows in her life opening her to new friends and experiences, the book promises the possibility of a hopeful post- divorce future. For people contemplating divorce, or in the throws of the nightmare of divorce, Ms. Bram offers hope about all of the positive aspects of life on the other side. This is a future that is very hard to for people emeshed in the pain of divorce to see, but this kind of a book can help in the process of looking to a better future.

A major theme is the evolution of moving out of an unhappy marriage and into “rich and luxurious” silence that is conducive to surviving marital unhappiness and the key to a new life. Emphasis is on focusing on the children because no one in the world knows what is best for children than their own parents. Movingly, Ms. Bram finds solace in the fact that there is only one other person in the world who cares as much about her children as she does, her divorce “adversary”. Cooperative parenting is not a new concept, but for many adults emotional ugliness and pain easily interferes with the ability to be constructive in dealing with the other parent. How to start cooperative co-parenting particularly if the warring barriers are up? A sage friend recommends beginning the truce and rebuilding over a cup of coffee. While extremely difficult, Ms. Bram describes how her wounds receded as a new parenting relationship developed. Ms. Bram reminds the reader of the benefits of divorce on parenting, specifically those weekends when the children are with the other parent, providing the rest and relaxation necessary for the next time of “on duty” parenting. Done right, Ms. Bram argues that children can thrive better in a happily divorced family than an unhappily married one so long as their parents can become peaceable (if not friendly) colleagues “with the single unified purpose of making the best lives possible” for their children.

But is there such a thing as a friendly, or at the very least, amicable divorce? Emotions fuel a sense of angry and ugly urgency. Free advice comes from an ever expanding chorus of friends and family who mean well but can misdirect thinking and actions. Divorce lawyers as the symbol of the adversary system come in for their share of criticism for fueling the fire. Alec Baldwin’s“A Promise to Ourselves” is another recent memoir about surviving the divorce experience but with a very different approach. Baldwin’s positive message about the advisability avoiding litigation and recommending mediation with mental health professionals is buried in excruciating details of conniving lawyers, judges, and other professionals. “Happily Ever After Divorce” spares the reader from the day to day ugly details of the adversarial experience. Assuming that these horrors are familiar, with those horrors, the book generally acknowledges the difficulties and builds on the positive theme of taking personal responsibility for the process and focusing on the future. A friendly divorce really equates to a nonadversarial one.

The book glides through descriptions of guilt, financial downsizing, food addition and other symptoms of a life turned upside down. But Ms. Bram voice is enjoyably descriptive. While not turning away from the dark side, she helps the reader to negative experiences in the context of the goal of a “joyful journey”. Divorce lawyers who recognize that the emotions are the driving force in all divorces should consider recommending “Happily Ever After Divorce” to their clients for inspiration and hope. Divorce laws and legal procedures are important, but a wounded spouse needs much more than legal advice during this difficult period in the lives of so many families.