You may ask why this is necessary since you are mediating your divorce in part to “avoid divorce lawyers”. Won’t hiring separate attorneys defeat the goal of mediation to save costly attorney fees? Isn’t a qualified mediator, who is being paid for “knowing his or her stuff” all the professional advice you need?

        Even though mediation is about cooperating to work out financial and parenting issues, each spouse has individual concerns, and legal rights and responsibilities. Mediators are neutral parties and do not give legal advice to either spouse, even though the mediator may be a trained and/or licensed as an attorney. The settlement decisions you make as a part of your divorce should be based on “informed consent”. Working with your own attorney helps to protect you and achieve your mediation goals by:

        ● Understanding the law and identifying legal issues that may apply to you;
        ● Having a private place to discuss your concerns and weigh your options;
        ● Getting support from a legal professional who is “in your corner”;
        ● Diagnosing how much information is reasonably necessary for you to make your settlement decisions;
        ● Getting practical feedback on your ideas for settlement and creative suggestions about difficult issues;
       ● Having the knowledge that an attorney has helped to protect your legal interests by reviewing the final legal settlement agreement before you sign it.

        Despite what many people believe, mediation is not only for “friendly” spouses. Couples less prone to uncontrolled conflict are particularly suited for mediation. Couples separated long enough to have survived their “emotional divorce” are usually better able to mediate in a constructive and calmer environment. While some couples who elect to use nonadversarial approaches can act civilly, most people going through divorce are experiencing extreme emotional distress. However angry, fighting, grieving and otherwise emotional people can still share the goals of avoiding the adversarial process and protecting their children from parental conflict and emotional damage from the divorce.

So, you can be consistently “unfriendly” throughout the process and yet avoid adversarial approaches. The more grounded you are with private legal information and advice, the less likely that you will question your settlement decisions later no matter where you and your spouse are on the “friendliness – high conflict” continuum.

          Consider your work with an attorney as your investment in feeling confident about some of the most important decisions you will make in your life.

Each new divorce case in CT is assigned a Case Management Date. The parties to the case need to report the status of the case to the court by that date: ready to finalize the divorce, moving in a nonadversarial direction, or moving in an adversarial direction. This report is provided using the Case Management Form(”CMA”).

Cases fall into three categories:

• Uncontested
• Limited Contested
• Fully Contested

An uncontested case is one where the parties have completed their Parenting Education Program (if there are children), arrived at an agreement on all issues and prepared all of the necessary forms. For these cases, the parties can appear in court on the Case Management Date and get divorced. However, as procedures may vary from courthouse to courthouse, you should check with the clerk if you want to get divorced on that date to make sure that the court will hear the divorce on the Case Management Date.

If your case is uncontested but you want to get divorced on another day, then check with the court clerk’s office for days that your court will hear uncontested divorce cases. The date is filled into the CMA. If the spouse has an attorney who has appeared on his/her behalf int he court, the attorney(s) can sign the form and file it with the court. If a party is self represented, then he or she must sign the form.

Limited contested cases are those where the parties have agreed to a parenting responsibility plan but have not yet agreed on the financial terms so are not yet ready to set an uncontested hearing date. For these CMA’s, if the spouse has an attorney who has appeared on his/her behalf int he court, the attorney(s) can sign the form and file it with the court. The new rules do not require client signatures on CMA’s if the client is represented by an attorney. However, the rule allows each courthouse to require client signatures on the CMA so you need to check that local rule. If a party is self represented, then he or she must sign the form.

In limited contested cases, the parties and their attorneys must appear in court on the Case Management date. However, this court appearance can be avoided if the following documents are attached to the CMA when filed:

• Sworn Financial Affidavit
• Signed Parental Responsibility Plan

The new rules also address fully contested cases (where child custody and parental responsibility are disputed), notice regarding status conferences, and pre-trial and trial management procedures.

For a full text of the new Standing Orders go to http://www.jud.ct.gov/external/super/Standorders/Family/default.htm

The spouses negotiate the terms of their own divorce settlement. The parties can either fill out the Dissolution Agreement form provided by the court on their own (not recommended) or one party can hire an attorney to prepare the agreement and the other documents needed to finalize the divorce. The divorce agreement is a final, binding legal document so each party should get legal advice before signing the agreement and submitting it to the court. Frequently called “uncontested divorce”, the judge reviews and approves the written agreement and makes it a court order.

Divorce Mediation

A single neutral professional acts as the mediator for the couple, helping them to negotiate an agreement. The mediator helps the couple reach agreement, and complete the required paperwork. Mediators do not give legal advice. Each party should retain attorneys as “coaching counsel” for legal advice on specific issues and the final agreement. No one should finalize the divorce without legal advice and review. Divorce mediators may be lawyers, financial professionals or mental health professionals depending on the issues the family needs to deal with.

Collaborative Divorce

Each spouse retains his or her own trained collaborative lawyer to advise and assist in negotiating an agreement on all issues and the preparation of the required paperwork. A divorce financial professional assists by providing financial information. Mental health professional mediate parenting and any emotional issues. Everyone signs an agreement that the lawyers and spouses cannot go to court or threaten to go to court and the financial professional cannot participate in any subsequent litigation. Each client has built-in legal advice and advocacy during negotiations, and each lawyer’s job includes guiding the client toward reasonable resolutions. If no agreement is signed disqualifying the attorneys if the process fails, this process is called a “cooperative divorce”.

Adversarial Divorce

Each spouse retains his or her own lawyer to represent him or her throughout the divorce process. All lawyer efforts are aimed primarily at preparing for trial,
including use of formal discovery and/or temporary motions in most cases, while at the same time trying to negotiate a settlement. Settlement usually results by the time of trial but, throughout the process, the spouses are generally discouraged from negotiating with each other. When there is no settlement of temporary or permanent issues, the judge enters court orders resolving the disputes after an evidentiary hearing including testimony of witnesses and introduction of documentary evidence.